


No Greater Treasure

by Charra



Series: Hanmei Week 2018 [5]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Humor, mocking meihem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-31 22:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13984542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charra/pseuds/Charra
Summary: Hanzo realizes what truly matters when he goes too far dealing with Junkrat's affections for Mei.  Part of Hanmei week, prompt: tiger.





	No Greater Treasure

It was supposed to be a simple trip to the zoo, but the presence of the Junkers complicated things. Junkrat had made no secret of desiring Mei, and nothing detered the little Junker from pursuing her, not even Hanzo's coldest glare or Mei's pushing him off or even Roadhog trying to convince his employer she wasn't worth it. Naturally, Hanzo thought himself well within the right to strip Junkrat of every explosive on him and throw him into the tiger pit as soon as his bodyguard left to get the snacks Junkrat demanded. Hanzo thought the entire situation had a sense of poetic irony, as Junkrat himself may become a snack.

Tigers were cats, and cats ate rodents.

"Hanzo!" Mei shouted when she saw what he did. "What were you thinking!?"

"That the _ratto_ should be done away with once and for all." Hanzo said. "He will not stop bothering you, so I thought to feed him to the tigers. Do you have any objections?"

"Of course I do! Those are Bengal tigers, they are an endangered species and you just tossed Jamison in there to be eaten!"

"You say that as though it were a tragedy."

"It WILL be a tragedy if they eat him. We don't know where he's been and if whatever radiation he's saturated with doesn't kill them, he's so thin they'll choke on his ribs."

"I did not think of that." All he thought was about was dealing with Junkrat; he didn't think the fool would be capable of poisoning the tigers by his very presence. Junkrat, meanwhile was backing away from the tigers.

"Nice kitties..." he said. "Nice kitties...eep!" He scrambled up the tree. "ROADIE! HELP!" Roadhog had come, arms full of the snacks his employer wanted, saw what trouble Junkrat got into this time and sighed.

"Hold these." Roadhog said, giving the snacks to Mei while he used his hook to get Junkrat out of the tiger pit. Junkrat was panting as he stood, outside of the pit and glaring at Hanzo.

"Thanks, mate." Junkrat told his bodyguard. "Now smash this bloody bloke—"

"You're in enough trouble as it is."

"But he threw me in there! Mei, why are you with him again?"

"Stop! Both of you! This is getting ridiculous!" Mei shouted, then pointed at Junkrat. "You, I am not interested in any way, shape or form!" She shoved the snacks back at Roadhog before turning to Hanzo. "And you! That was unnecessary, throwing him to the tigers! I know you don't like him, or anyone else, hitting on me, but you could have found a better way! I am going to go look at the penguins—neither of you come near me until you sort this out!" Mei then stomped off, Snowball tagging along. Hanzo could only gape, along with Junkrat, but he admired how his precious treasure stood up to them both.

"How much does he mean to you?" Hanzo asked Roadhog.

"Junkrat?" The bigger Junker asked. Hanzo nodded. "He's my employer, and he's not too bad some times."

"Would you give much for him?"

"More or less. Why?"

"Because I am willing to make a deal with you, both of you. I will cease my efforts to hunt you down for whatever treasure you have found, and in return, you keep your employer away from Mei."

"What?!" Junkrat cried.

"Your choice—Mei, or one less person hunting you for your treasure."

"How do I know you won't change your mind?"

"Because I have my own treasure, of far greater worth than whatever you have found." Junkrat didn't get a chance to respond before Roadhog shook Hanzo's hand.

"Deal." Roadhog said, then lifted up his employer. "Come on, what do you say we cause some chaos at that orderly city in the desert?"

"Which one?" Junkrat asked as the two Junkers left. Hanzo shook his head then went to the penguins to find his own treasure. He found her looking at the penguins in their tank. He went next to her and she glanced at him, still angry.

"The Junkers have left, and I talked with Junkrat." Hanzo said. "He has agreed to leave you be, and in return I will not pursue him for his treasure."

"Oh really?" Mei asked. "That's nice, considering you don't know what it was he even found."

"Yes...Mei, I—about what happened...I am not going to apologize for trying to feed that _ratto_ to the tigers. Nor any of the times I hit him for trying to pursue you."

"But?"

"But I am sorry about nearly poisoning the tigers in that last attempt to stop him. I had not thought that one through."

"Well..." Mei hugged him tight. "I know you were trying to protect me, even if you do get carried away all the time."

"I do whatever it takes to protect you, _takara_. No one is going to steal my treasure."

"Nope! As if I'd want anyone but you—screw the knight, give me the dragon." Hanzo gave a smile at that.


End file.
